Anyways. A lot of thoughts came to me, while going on my normal stuffs.

Firstly, I was packing my worksheets just now, cause I thought it was really about time I cleared and sorted out the HUGE piles of papers on my desk, since I had only a horribly cramped place just enough to spread out all my highlighters and pens, a notebook, and a set of lecture notes. Math tutorial will be, needless to say, a bit of a hassle, as you'd usually need an open lecture book, the question paper and a set of lecture pad. Nevermind that, I'm like, seriously going off point. 

Somehow the entire procedure just seemed painful somehow, as I uncovered more and more of my horribly done test papers. Piles and piles of tutorial worksheets, done and some undone, lecture notes, some thoroughly revised but still doesn't seem to be able to help me achieve those grades I need (supposedly), and more and more quizzes and tests, some with good results, and some bad. GP, math, history, chem and bio. Omg, those last two are like, my most badly done subjects (as can be reflected in my PRC; its the math and all the H1s that pulled my ranking pts..else, CMI. Yes, Good for now, for H1s but totally sucky for 2 sciences). YES, I'm fully aware. And the way Miss Ng put it across to me that morning, WHOA, made me cry in JJC for the first time.

In FEAR.

I know. As are horrid, they determine everything, or so it seems, and like how detergent renders the cholesterol soluble and destroy the cell membrane, it can ultimately, destroy me. Ohmytians. 5 months to go and i spent like, 10 minutes on this stupid retarded shit blogger site already. Thats ten minutes of my remaining 5 months plus. In front my last working computer at home, on my messy desk now stacked with different piles of worksheets from each subject.

Friends. 

So-called anyways. 

Are they just mere acquaintances we hang out with each day, just so not to be alone? 

Are they just people who you hang with and laugh together, but not help each other in times of need?

Are they people who, like every other person out there, judge you by every little thing you do?

Hmm, I don't know; competition is building up, causing people to change and become more...self-centered? And I know it's not just me being all sensitive over this; I know others who are also facing this problem. And yet, we choose to continue like that and not resolve the problem. Not like we can anyways. Whatever lahs. 5 months, and it's out of this shit-hole full of hypocritical nonsense and rubbish. 

Oh no, don't get me wrong, there are still awesome gems you can find in this dump of a school. Like tennis people I always hang out with and eventually grew closer to and particular classmates. High school friend still remain in touch though not as often, with each and every one of us busying along with our own school lives. It's surprising how easy it is to talk about almost absolutely anything, without having some weird gaze stare back at you in response of what you said, or some other response such as a super unappreciative grunt. Difference difference.

YEEE. And some people are already drifting away before its even time to. 

Sometimes oh sometimes, I just opt to let them continue to. You know, walk away. 

I mean, what's the point of keeping someone that is totally, uncommitted and uninterested. I'll be better off myself anyways.

E.g. taking a bus trip, and sitting next to an acquaintance you don't even speak to in class. Imagine the awkwardness. It takes a certain level of friendship or even say, understanding to be able to sit beside someone and shut up for the whole ride without feeling anything like, even a TEEENY-WEENY tinge of uneasiness. 

People like, Angkukueh, buttyli, xua etc. HAHA. Joyrides. (:

Shucks, I NEVER saw this in high school. Then again, those were Os.

O for ORDINARY.

Today, it's the As.

A for ADVANCED.

Great, hell of a difference it made. 

Ohboy. I think I will stick to my NEW best friend for now. 

NOTES AND TUTORIALS AND ASSESSMENT BOOKS. Oh, for entertainment and for the sake of being online, LITESPEED too. (: 

I know it's an incredibly random and nonsenical post, that doesn't seem to make any sense. yet, it is kinda important to me, and because of my sucky expression of thoughts into words, and the delayed time in blogging them, they turned out slightly...(insert)

Okays. I think I gotta go contnue pack my stuff. Study date with FAB people tmr. (:<3 

Seems to be the only thing that cheers me up on down days like that.

P.S. I really need to find you back, Ivy Tan. WHERE ARE YOU?!! Ugh.