HAHA. The two people in uniform (muneera and syafiqah) lent some of our classmates their raya outfits to change into for tomorrow's raya visiting to their places. Note: LADIES ONLY (:

Because then I won't find anymore reasons to curse.

And I won't have to pretend to be happy and content hanging out with particular people I really don't feel comfortable around.

And I won't have to keep in contact ALL the time and have all my secrets exposed for the world to know.

And I won't have to wonder where to seek solace; I hardly talk to my family anymore these few weeks (if you exclude simple conversations at the dinner table), been out almost all the time.

And I can refrain from all these false-ys, and hypercriticism.

Wowhee, thinking back, HOW ON EARTH did I even survive these one and a half years?!!

Currently, I feel TERRIBLE.

I don't know whether it has any reasons with the close ones around me turning emotional and all.

Take angkukueh for example that ass. HAHAHA. Been spending a bit more time with her than usual of late, no idea why. Somehow I think it might be because I feel more at ease and natural around her than I am when I'm with others. (and that we face the same fs problems)

And I was telling her about the GINORMOUS disappointment I got when I heard that someone I thought I could confide in for a bit told my 'secret' away. Okay, so it wasn't THAT much of a secret, yet I didn't want the whole world to know? I wouldn't have been as peeved if the truth have been given to me; it was a weak effort in partly admitting and denying the fact that it had in fact been given away, to doubtlessly one of the most suitable candidates ever to represent the whole world.

FYI, I ain't talking bout Miss World here.

Not Miss Singapore either; Ris Low was an EPIC FAIL, goodness.

Anyways that's beside the point.

Yeah, I think I would have had an easier time if the truth was admitted, instead of trying to create a blur so as to you know, try to forget the whole issue. Oh, and who goes "SO WHAT" when you did something bad to another? No. That's just...overboard.

Yet I'm not exactly mad, just disappointed, like REALLY.

*POOOF* goes yet another of those hopeful confidants. Ahwell. I still have my dear old Pongbings.

Even though everyone's pretty cooped up with their individual stuff now, and xua's not even in singapore now so that pretty sums up all the nice, real and true company I have til the 6 weeks when war comes.

Ah yes, I'm referring to Angkukueh. AHAHA.

Oh, speaking of whom, Yien and I witnessed this accident today. A guy got hit, and he happened to be an acquaintance of a few of my friends. Goodness it was pretty traumatizing, but we got to skip a bit of lesson since the 4 of us (coincidentally all from nanhua) had to stay back to give some statement. Actually, I wasn't as shocked when I saw the grimace on the person's face when asking how he feels as when all the teachers who got wind started flooding out; there was quite a commotion. Then I realized I was a little shaky, and Yien's fingers turned icy cold too.

Eventually all was well, Bong asked the victim (ex-classmate) if he was alright, and was pretty much assured with a reply that he was okay and only suffered from a fracture. I feel better by a bit now, and Bong too; she was pretty taken back/traumatized after hearing the news from me. HAHA. Silly girl.

Anyhow, Thank God it was only a minor accident and no one really got hurt.

Still, the both of us skipped our respective lessons and went to mug in the Lifestyle library. And caught up a bit with the gossip and all. Screw JC life like seriously. I think I'm now officially capable of going up to anyone I dislike and holler "**** YOUR ARSE" in the face, regardless of how anti-vulgarities-and-obscenities I was until the start of this year.

ARUGH.

Quite a negative post I know, considering the fact that I haven't updated in a while. But I felt a need to post, and change my url yet again; where else am I supposed to find a place of solitude to plonk down all my thoughts anymore huh?

On a lighter note, I have been studying with that chewlingling, and she is just MAD. HAHA. Stupid. So much gossip and gay gay laughter and jokes!

Studying tmr with Yuhui and Peifang, my other 2 darlings from NH. :D PSYCHED.

P.S. Seems like all those you can rely on are really steady pillars of friendship built throughout the 4 years in high school. Well, for me that is.

I'll play along and 'superficial' along with you.

ANYWAY! (I realize I use this word wayyy too much. Oh, and 'realize too')

(And I'm late with my dedication. LOL. )

HEHE. Hello buddy! I know it's a bit late, but HAPPY 18th! :D

Been great having you as a friend for almost 6 years, and I hope our friendship grow fonder! Stay slim, pretty, funny! I love you for all the little things you did for me throughout the years, and thank you for being there when I need someone to talk to. And I love the fact you're always nearby during the holidays, when wanyu, wanqing and xuejie will all be lala-ing in china. (Hey, malaysia is pretty close too, and you aren't always gone THAT long.) Fond memories will always stay in my heart!

(take for instance the time when only you brought an umbrella and I stole my brother's poncho and it was raining after school; we took turns wearing the plastic coat and danced in the rain :D HOHO)

(Or that time when we were playing at VCH waiting for the final culturla potpourri rehearsal to start, and I had your CO jacket over my head, thanks to Miss Ong's WAYANG (Opera) makeup, and we were running like looneys, and Miss Chng came and pulled off the garment. Ohboy, her expression was classic when I shrieked loudly in her face thinking it's either you or josephine/lifeng. HAHAHA.)

Good times, good times.

Sorry we haven't got down to buying you your present yet, but yeah, I know you understand. :D LOL. Meanwhile, teddy bear hugs and chocolate kisses, May you do extremely well for your A levels! (: