Private Territory.

Sunday, August 16, 2009

"Isn't it funny how feelings change. That initial liking to a person can turn so sour, so superficial with just a few turning of events."

Relationship problem are not going to get the better of me now, with the frightfully quick approach of the Major examinations.
Yes, MAJOR, in caps.

I'm not mad-rushing yet like O levels.
I'm not prepared.

I'M NOT COMPLETELY CONVINCED YET.
WHYYY?

I don't exactly know, but I'm really hoping it's not because of what happened between us. It's so...uncalled for.
I know I blog bout how I don't give any regards to this, but who am I really deceiving huh.

"I pity you, she's practically a part of your life." Or something like that, by my SundayMuggerBugger.

GREAT. Well, at least SundayMuggerBugger gives better comments/advice(okay not exactly so). Okay, maybe not, but she has more to say to make me feel a teeny bt better. Even my apparent close friends, AHEM, gives just patronising remarks.

"Mhm i see."
"Wow."
"You go girl."

Computer generated automated messages aren't exactly what I need. So you see, it's not I don't wanna voice out. Well, partly so, but I can't seem to find that PERSON to completely confide in yet. And that particular someone I once thought was potential, apparently wasn't what I was looking for after all. Golly. Complications.

Well. I think AYE, being in somewhat the same situation as me, can relate, and thus it's easy to talk to her. HAHA. My buddy, but yet we rarely have the time to talk.

GAHH. So now, I've decided.

I'm not going to get all these shitty stuff get the better of me.
Emotional stuff isn't going to carry me through this HUGE obstacle of determining my future.
I don't want to regret, and I don't want to face these people I see everyday now with a pained expression and thoughts about how I completely wasted my JC life away.

I'm going to do this, even if it means I hurl my social life of this hellhole away, cause apparently, this means EVERYTHING.
And I don't need this kind of social life right now. Not with these people.

Yes yes, I'm morphing into a bittergourd, so kill me.

So don't mind me if I turn anti-social. Because I probably won't be needing these people to help me in whatever I do anyways.

Ahh, I feel that fiesty attitude from two years back returning.

Here I Come.

Wednesday, August 05, 2009

OH. So comes this rare chance I can upload pictures, when blogger isn't all that screwed.

Today is Wednesday, and tonight marks the start of some of our SELF-PROCLAIMED study break. We had class photo-taking today; I don't have the pictures, and I don't know how the other classes got hold of theirs, but I figured I must have looked fugly. Wasn't even all that hyped as I was in previous years when taking class photos.

HAI.

肥了就是不一样..

ANYWAYS. On a brighter note. I consulted Miss Goh today. Didn't think it was going to be as bad as it was going to be, with more company than what I'd hoped for initially; I don't ask questions when there's a crowd, and 3 isn't a very small number either. It was SUPER fruitful. I think I shall just consult her more often, and forget bout that expensive tuition. Now that mom's stopped working, I figured, it's going to be even tighter.

Prom tickets are starting to sell. And a lot of commotion have been ongoing bout nominations for queen/king. A lot of people have been chosen, not sure if they qualified, but they turned down the offer. Not a surprise; pageant training from prelims to As? Nutcase. Ask those cheena scholars. I'll bet they have already secured their future with their outstanding results.

Speaking of which.

In JJC, Prelims are OPTIONAL.

Yes, you have a choice to take them or not.

Funny, never thought it was an option. HAHA.

Oh yes, results.

That bald head of a P mentioned that, less than 40% of the cohort made the cut for university admission, which is ranking points of 60. Cool shit huh. That means, if we don't work hard now, there is a potential chance that more than half of us will be retaking.

IMAGINE. (:

I know. Amazing, isn't it?

It's no wonder some teachers have already given up all hope on us. WOW.

Ain't you pleased to hear that.

I sound rather cheery today, don't know why either. I swear, I could even beam whole-heartedly at people I don't even like.

P.S. Had quite a peaceful morning altogether. Reflect reflect, chill chill.

Suddenly the house's filled with snacks. I foresee weight gain. Damn.

I need to get out of the house.

And no, I don't mean school.

Sunday, August 02, 2009

I wish I never knew you, because you are so full of pretense and horrible facades, hypocrisy I feel like screaming at such a high frequency until your eardrums just burst. But we are practically a part of each other's lives until the horrible big MAJORS are over.

Then it'll stop.

I promise I'd stop lying to myself. Treat those who are have true intentions truthfully.

I'd cut off all relationships. I'd do it fast, but not all at once.

I'd slowly released bit by bit.

Besides, priority now is the MAJORS.

I hope you can see how I really feel, and leave me alone.

As for the other party, act your age. Leave me alone. I'm not going to let myself waver because of what shitty things you said; I know I let my emotions get the better of me.

Not this time.

Not this time, you LOS-ers.