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anilover_eve@hotmail.com
Alternatively, you may choose to leave your mark here
-points below-
Counter Stats
Myspace Layouts
Mes Amis (:
Friday, August 03, 2007
SINCE I STARTED IT, I SHALL STOP THIS.
god. to tink i was the only one who was feeling stupidly CRANKY, EMO and stuff, when all along, someone else was so much worse than me; in fact, i only made her MUCH more miserable by voicing my thoughts.
but still, there is this unwritten and unspoken rule.
What i dare put up, I shall NEVER take it down.
i dared to ut it up, and i shall bear all consequences. LIKE BRING IT ON MAN.
k. kidding.
dare post, dare post AGAIN.
hence, this shall be one post i...uhms. i dunno how to say. somewhat puts an end to another..previous post.
NOW I START.
apparently i went to this gal's blog. oh. hack. i shall put up names. since i not really good at hiding things; i must say. = =. ok.
so i went to christina's blog. and i saw tat a lot of things have been going on for her. and by this i dun mean GOOD issues. kinda bad ones at tat. for example, the passing of her grandpa, who she (i can see) loved. and the class jersey and chalet and planning stuff. i guess haven been giving her much space to breathe.
gosh. when i went to school on thursday, i thought it was just another ordinary schoolday kinda thing, but then i went to the gals' toilet with buttyli, i saw gina tying someone's hair (forgot who) and lumlum and the others. wat really gave me a shock was babyliew crying. god. i must admit, those few days bout the jersey issue, i kinda feel disgusted whenever ppl cry for no apparent reason, but ltr i realised, u know, eeryone has different levels of tolerances yeh, and sometimes, we just dun understand, so if u wanna let it all out, u cant really fight it. maybe tat feeling of unjust and selfishness bout the jersey base colour and stuf really got us pissed, and so maybe we just presumed tat crying was a very extra kinda thing...but then, when this whole thing kinda laid down, i didnt really think so anymore. anyways.
so when i saw her crying in the toilet, i had the slightest voice in my head telling me its something to do with my blog. cause she just looked so depressed and stuff. AND black as usual, no offence. and dunno wat made me ask, u ok? she didnt even look at me, just nodded, eyes still on the ground. gosh. and i knew it was kinda serious. after tat, they left the toilet, and WQ told us tat she heard emily say it was something bout someone's blog. and we knew it had to be mine, since i was the stoopid one whu went to post dunno how many lines of complaint and harsh lipsmacking shit. anyways, we all kinda convinced each other tat it wasnt tat big a prob.
**TRIED to convonce ourselves.
then later as the day went by, i just couldnt stop thinking of wat happened, as in. how all this happened cuz of this post of mine. and how i must have totally wrecked her life in a way. [[maybe im exageerating; cant think straight now]]
so in chem SPA, i asked WQ.
"u think i should go talk to chrisliew?"
she said,"yeah. u should.."
i also asked txy and she said ok too...so i went when wanyu went to take HCl.
i told her tat i needed to talk to her after bio..and then she said ok. she SEEMED ok. but i really dunno how she felt. if it was me, i would have felt sooooo horrid. but i tink im feeling worse now lahs. i mean; voice out, cause so much trouble. seriously, i kinda brought this upon myself. -.-
anyways. she came looking for me after the mock bio prelim paper, which was disgustingly hard, and then i dragged her out to talk.
indeed, it was because of my blog. and tat it was a bit harsh. god. i didnt really plan on wat to tell her, i just thought maybe i could impromptu, or maybe i really didnt wanna think of wat to say, feeling that it would come to me naturally outta guilt. but it didnt luhs ofcourse. and then i kinda just, you know. brainstorm for the right things i had thought of saying, but forgot. [[at a time like this, yesh. it still happens]]
someone had told her bout the post on monday, but she didnt go see..she only saw on wed night, and it was kinda harsh..she understood..pointed out nicely tat we both initiated the idea[[i was wearing my LilBro de class jersey]]...she didnt really mind anymore; she'd get over it.
tat sounded my alarm.
god. i haven been thinking straight now. i can totally give up on a chem test, or daydream in class. i thought tat i always looked matters from both sides, and always tried to live in others' shoes, but upon hearing this and reflecting upon wat i've written, god.
NO ONE, and i mean NO ONE, deserves so harsh a treatment. its only a small issue, not a major crime; it not as if chrisliew had gone on a killing spree, or put butterflies in my bag. ok.. i'll freak at the latter. *cringes*
its only a small issue, a class jersey. all the spirirt is gone. everything just didnt fit int pieces anymore. 404 is NOT wat it used to be; 304 is lost. i believe, for real, like mrs tan said. but then again, we have ALSO lost mrs tan. its like. HISTORY. and its depressing.
wait. i sidetracked again. err. oh. yeah. i realised what i have wrote will really piss some ppl off, and will really harm others, and whoa. it was a DIRECT, PAINFUL, HARSH, MEAN entry. and come to tink of it, i will probably be so upset. but i wun cry of course. i mean. christina has REALLY put in a LOT of effort into this. and PLUS all the trauma and drama she has been going thru, god. its hell. she doesnt really deserve it. she even has a pimple on her nose le. just because of this little issue and some abrupt, temporary, mindless thinking, we totally threw each other's worlds upside down, misunderstood one another, and nearly wrecked all the bonds we had. i mean. hey. of course some will talk behind out backs luhs. i mean, seriously, whu wun?
wait. i cant remember all the things i wanted to write. 1 min.
uhms. i guess i cant think of anything more. this time in the night. but still wat i really wanted to say is
SO BLOODY SORRY.
seriously, christina, i really had no intention at all to make u cry yeh? may sound pretty corny now after all this but i really mean it. god. i had no idea it would turn out all this way. or maybe i didnt even stop to THINK about the consequences. see, im FUMING. and now i deeply regret. ok not so much so tat i will like...i dunno. but still. a word of apology. and thanks again.
moral of story: dun post anything in a momnent of rashness, u foolish kid.
sorry to all i have offended yet again, and do expect some kinda wierd post popping up again. as in. i take some time to learn my lessons.
haix. hope august will have better weather and climate..i dun wanna be gloomy again.
god. to tink i was the only one who was feeling stupidly CRANKY, EMO and stuff, when all along, someone else was so much worse than me; in fact, i only made her MUCH more miserable by voicing my thoughts.
but still, there is this unwritten and unspoken rule.
What i dare put up, I shall NEVER take it down.
i dared to ut it up, and i shall bear all consequences. LIKE BRING IT ON MAN.
k. kidding.
dare post, dare post AGAIN.
hence, this shall be one post i...uhms. i dunno how to say. somewhat puts an end to another..previous post.
NOW I START.
apparently i went to this gal's blog. oh. hack. i shall put up names. since i not really good at hiding things; i must say. = =. ok.
so i went to christina's blog. and i saw tat a lot of things have been going on for her. and by this i dun mean GOOD issues. kinda bad ones at tat. for example, the passing of her grandpa, who she (i can see) loved. and the class jersey and chalet and planning stuff. i guess haven been giving her much space to breathe.
gosh. when i went to school on thursday, i thought it was just another ordinary schoolday kinda thing, but then i went to the gals' toilet with buttyli, i saw gina tying someone's hair (forgot who) and lumlum and the others. wat really gave me a shock was babyliew crying. god. i must admit, those few days bout the jersey issue, i kinda feel disgusted whenever ppl cry for no apparent reason, but ltr i realised, u know, eeryone has different levels of tolerances yeh, and sometimes, we just dun understand, so if u wanna let it all out, u cant really fight it. maybe tat feeling of unjust and selfishness bout the jersey base colour and stuf really got us pissed, and so maybe we just presumed tat crying was a very extra kinda thing...but then, when this whole thing kinda laid down, i didnt really think so anymore. anyways.
so when i saw her crying in the toilet, i had the slightest voice in my head telling me its something to do with my blog. cause she just looked so depressed and stuff. AND black as usual, no offence. and dunno wat made me ask, u ok? she didnt even look at me, just nodded, eyes still on the ground. gosh. and i knew it was kinda serious. after tat, they left the toilet, and WQ told us tat she heard emily say it was something bout someone's blog. and we knew it had to be mine, since i was the stoopid one whu went to post dunno how many lines of complaint and harsh lipsmacking shit. anyways, we all kinda convinced each other tat it wasnt tat big a prob.
**TRIED to convonce ourselves.
then later as the day went by, i just couldnt stop thinking of wat happened, as in. how all this happened cuz of this post of mine. and how i must have totally wrecked her life in a way. [[maybe im exageerating; cant think straight now]]
so in chem SPA, i asked WQ.
"u think i should go talk to chrisliew?"
she said,"yeah. u should.."
i also asked txy and she said ok too...so i went when wanyu went to take HCl.
i told her tat i needed to talk to her after bio..and then she said ok. she SEEMED ok. but i really dunno how she felt. if it was me, i would have felt sooooo horrid. but i tink im feeling worse now lahs. i mean; voice out, cause so much trouble. seriously, i kinda brought this upon myself. -.-
anyways. she came looking for me after the mock bio prelim paper, which was disgustingly hard, and then i dragged her out to talk.
indeed, it was because of my blog. and tat it was a bit harsh. god. i didnt really plan on wat to tell her, i just thought maybe i could impromptu, or maybe i really didnt wanna think of wat to say, feeling that it would come to me naturally outta guilt. but it didnt luhs ofcourse. and then i kinda just, you know. brainstorm for the right things i had thought of saying, but forgot. [[at a time like this, yesh. it still happens]]
someone had told her bout the post on monday, but she didnt go see..she only saw on wed night, and it was kinda harsh..she understood..pointed out nicely tat we both initiated the idea[[i was wearing my LilBro de class jersey]]...she didnt really mind anymore; she'd get over it.
tat sounded my alarm.
god. i haven been thinking straight now. i can totally give up on a chem test, or daydream in class. i thought tat i always looked matters from both sides, and always tried to live in others' shoes, but upon hearing this and reflecting upon wat i've written, god.
NO ONE, and i mean NO ONE, deserves so harsh a treatment. its only a small issue, not a major crime; it not as if chrisliew had gone on a killing spree, or put butterflies in my bag. ok.. i'll freak at the latter. *cringes*
its only a small issue, a class jersey. all the spirirt is gone. everything just didnt fit int pieces anymore. 404 is NOT wat it used to be; 304 is lost. i believe, for real, like mrs tan said. but then again, we have ALSO lost mrs tan. its like. HISTORY. and its depressing.
wait. i sidetracked again. err. oh. yeah. i realised what i have wrote will really piss some ppl off, and will really harm others, and whoa. it was a DIRECT, PAINFUL, HARSH, MEAN entry. and come to tink of it, i will probably be so upset. but i wun cry of course. i mean. christina has REALLY put in a LOT of effort into this. and PLUS all the trauma and drama she has been going thru, god. its hell. she doesnt really deserve it. she even has a pimple on her nose le. just because of this little issue and some abrupt, temporary, mindless thinking, we totally threw each other's worlds upside down, misunderstood one another, and nearly wrecked all the bonds we had. i mean. hey. of course some will talk behind out backs luhs. i mean, seriously, whu wun?
wait. i cant remember all the things i wanted to write. 1 min.
uhms. i guess i cant think of anything more. this time in the night. but still wat i really wanted to say is
SO BLOODY SORRY.
seriously, christina, i really had no intention at all to make u cry yeh? may sound pretty corny now after all this but i really mean it. god. i had no idea it would turn out all this way. or maybe i didnt even stop to THINK about the consequences. see, im FUMING. and now i deeply regret. ok not so much so tat i will like...i dunno. but still. a word of apology. and thanks again.
moral of story: dun post anything in a momnent of rashness, u foolish kid.
sorry to all i have offended yet again, and do expect some kinda wierd post popping up again. as in. i take some time to learn my lessons.
haix. hope august will have better weather and climate..i dun wanna be gloomy again.