Private Territory.

Thursday, December 25, 2008

Somehow, I don't think its all that simple anymore.

Friends are supposed to stand beside one another no? Give support and all.

Parents. You can talk to them about anything.

But for some farking reason, Im not giving in, Im not letting out anything.

I don't see the need to.

I don't get the kind of comments and feedback I need.

Support. Doesn't really come in the form you expect it to be eh?

For one moment, that person can just be online. The very next moment after u speak, WHOOOPS. Offline! And the next time they need something, They come demanding it from you.

Right. SO this is the kind of person I have regarded as one of my closest friends for the past few years. Wet-weather. Eff.

Was on the phone talking bout the farking issue.

Look, I thought the whole purpose of a conference was to give each other support?

I can't find any use if we all were to shut up, no one taking the initiative to start, nor break the silence.

Wow.

One left after another.

Til you realise.

"HEY. IM ALL ALONE. Now, isn't this pleasing. I so wanted this to end this way? Leaving me as the last one standing to get a lashing. Fuck. Loving it, I don't think so."

And you tell me afterward. There seem to be no solution, so fine, I'll just go by what they want.

I heard all of yours. Did you hear mine? Or theirs? Ours?

I don't think so. Cause none of you effing airheads were there.

NONE.

ZIP.

ZERO.

NIL.

Do you know what's going on in my head?

They say follow your heart, do what you like.

Look. I did, this is what happened.

IM STUCK BLOODY DEEP IN THIS EFFING ASS SHITHOLE.

And hey. You got what you want from me, so you completely wash your hands off me.

I was there for you, but you weren't for me.

Leaving before the shit for me even started.

I cannot just leave it, let it go.

I have others at stake.

This involves a whole bunch of innocent souls.

All pursuing and fighting for ourselves cause the effing BALDING DICKHEAD refuse to acknowledge and recognize us.

It isn't that bloody simple.

DONT GO.

Not allowed.

Forbidden.

The words of authority.

Strong. FOR ME.

There you are, giving me a effing sad and accusing look.

Has it occurred to you, some are more restricting than others?

maybe not, in your arrogant little world, in your little Dictionary of Dickheads.

So LIMITED.

SO..SMALL.

I tried. Not once, several times.

It didn't work.

How bout me asking you to go defy YOUR own authorities?

You won't, will you.

Give me that effing bullshit loads of crap. And crocodile tears.

I. Just want to smash your face with my racquet.

And see the real tears come out.

Im not thinking straight as you can see, this Christmas day.

Merry? My ass.

Screw this world of self-centered nincompoops.